Dear In Practice,

I spent the past year working with two members of a functional team who, with my assistance, have gone from being avowed enemies to collaborating colleagues. They landed in my office after their supervisor suggested the ombuds office as a resource for their escalating relational tensions.

Since that case closed, I have received a steady stream of referrals from this same leader. The visitors are typically either peers or a manager and direct report who are enmeshed in conflict arising from some combination of personality, performance, and conduct. It’s starting to feel like the leader of this area — who makes almost double my salary and is a self-described conflict avoider — is relying on me to handle some of the hardest and most complex parts of her job.  

At what point does a supervisor regularly referring their staff to the ombuds office, as the sole means of addressing intra-unit conflict, become an issue? How do I balance wanting to be helpful to all involved with the need for this unit to be less dependent on my services? Please help -- I’m starting to feel like an extension of this team.

Skills Gap or Dispositional Deficiency?

Thomas P. Zgambo, Retired

I appreciate the difficult position you are navigating with this supervisor. It appears you  believe the matters being referred to you fall squarely within the supervisor’s scope of responsibility.

It may be useful to consider whether this dynamic reflects a skills gap or a dispositional deficiency impacting role execution. A structured review, by your office, of the cases being referred could provide clarity. If a discernable pattern suggesting a skills gap emerges, targeted capacity-building—such as training in communication, performance management, or conflict resolution tailored to the identified need—may be sufficient. You can provide the training, if such training is part of your repertoire, or you can suggest appropriate resources.

If, through your assessment, you are unable to identify a coherent theme, the referrals may be a manifestation of not only the supervisor’s self-described “conflict avoidance,”  but also a broader reluctance to engage in supervisory accountability. In that scenario, a direct and candid conversation about the organization’s articulated supervisory expectations, role responsibilities, and required competencies would be appropriate.

Finally, the supervisor may want to request help from human resources for support related to performance management structures and access to developmental resources for both the supervisor and the team.

Constructive Inclusion

Nick Diehl, Ombudsperson, IADB (InterAmerican Development Bank)

First, congratulations on the successful intervention with formerly avowed enemies.

When a supervisor abdicates some of their responsibilities, it can be tempting to over-function (a term Howard Gadlin, former NIH Ombuds used) to compensate for the deficit. By doing this, you may inadvertently be perpetuating a problem. I have a couple suggestions:

First, some of the referrals might be related to the supervisor's lack of engagement. If so, it may be important to highlight to the parties who are central to the conflicts, that the supervisor's involvement is important. The parties may not realize that the context (supervisory style) plays some role. The parties may choose to include the supervisor at some stage of the resolution process.

Second, with the parties’ permission, you might consider approaching the supervisor directly. You could express your appreciation for the referrals and ask to share some feedback on the pattern you are seeing. The supervisor would likely benefit from coaching and skills enhancement, either from you or an external coach.

It seems like the current situation is not sustainable for you and is likely unhealthy for the group. Hopefully, constructive inclusion of the supervisor may lead to a more skillful approach to dealing with these challenging workplace issues.

Stepping Back So Others Can Step Up

Don Greenstein, University Ombuds Director, Brandeis University and

Adam Barak Kleinberger, Ombuds, Harvard University

While occasional referrals are appropriate, a steady stream may signal a boundary issue. It may also offer a chance to engage, skill-build, coach or provide feedback.

It’s important to meet with the supervisor to learn more about how they see their work and to reset expectations about your role. Invite the supervisor to reflect on their discomfort with conflict and emphasize that addressing these issues is essential to their success. From there, offer support that builds their capability rather than replacing it, such as coaching on difficult conversations, guidance on giving feedback, or a facilitated discussion that models healthy engagement.

Over‑reliance on the ombuds as a stand-in for core managerial responsibilities strains neutrality and limits the unit’s opportunity to develop its own conflict‑management skills. The more ombuds take on, the less leaders have a chance to grow.

It’s also reasonable to set boundaries around future referrals, particularly when patterns repeat. Framing this as an investment in the unit’s long‑term health helps the supervisor understand that your goal is sustainability, not withdrawal.

Sometimes the most supportive move is stepping back so others can step up. Ombuds empower visitors to solve their problems in a fair manner. Fairness applies to use of the ombuds office as well.

An Important Filter

Jessica Kuchta-Miller, University Ombuds, Duke University

It may be worth stepping back to examine your intake process. Do you have the opportunity to consult with supervisors before they refer someone to you? A brief pre-referral conversation can serve as an important filter. Asking the supervisor, “What have you already done to address this?” and “What feels hardest about handling this directly?” can help you determine whether the matter truly belongs with you or whether it is a leadership moment that calls for coaching.

Often, what appears to be a referral need is actually a confidence or skill-building opportunity. Consulting before accepting referrals and clarifying how you can help will preserve your impartiality and prevent over-reliance, which could impede the supervisor’s growth.

Consider gently reflecting on the pattern you’re observing: “I’ve noticed that several complex supervisory issues have been referred to me, and I wonder if we could use some of these as coaching opportunities so you feel more confident handling them yourself.” This approach maintains a supportive tone while clearly setting boundaries.

As ombuds, our aim is to enhance capacity, not foster dependence. Offering tools, practicing through role-play, providing strategic support, and conflict coaching, rather than taking on responsibility, keeps your role clear and promotes the supervisor’s development.

We value the opportunity to engage with our membership on the dilemmas we face in our roles. Please let us know your perspective on this dilemma in the comment section below.